Faried Nawaz

contact info:
	- email: fn@Hungry.ORG
	- postal:
		256 Street 19
		Township A/1
		Lahore 54770
		Pakistan

----
%

<iNoah> I want a programming language based on mouse gestures
<weeb> i want one based on hair styles and toenail lengths
<iNoah> already done.  lisp.
<iNoah> or did you mean besides hippies?
%

no. way. am. i. sitting in an office room with 6 women who all need things
done at all times. some people are going to comment, 'room full of women
sounds good to me'. dude, you ignorant. they are attention piranhas.
-- Austin Swinney, describing the "estropen" at work.
%

<*antonin*> is it bad that it took me a bit to get that [joke]?
<*antonin*> I was looking too hard for some sort of sexual connotation
%

<meta> from now on, i'm going to do EXTREME PROGRAMMING with my CAT
%

<ben> look, education doesn't count if you just look up everything
      on the internet. 
%

<toshok[21:08]> Application Database error. 
<toshok[21:08]> Code = 30012 
<toshok[21:08]> Please contact your support provider.  
<toshok[21:08]> i <3 the web 
<peter[21:09]> Subject: CODE 30012!!!!!!1 fix plz!!!!!!1 
<toshok[21:09]> hehe
%

<ben322> I love this freebsd tip:
<ben322> If you accidently end up inside vi, you can quit it by
         pressing Escape, colon (:), q (q), bang (!) and pressing return.
<ben322> hee hee hee!
<R> or you could just reinstall
<ben322> how can you reinstall? you're accidentally inside vi.
<R> ooh, good point.
%

<colby> How the frick do I send a message with mutt?
<colby> I've run it.
<colby> I hit m.
<colby> I typed in enough for a test message.
<terry> ok
<colby> Now it's just staring at me.
<colby> Threatening to send a message.
<colby> But it's not.
<terry> hit 'y'
<colby> OH OF COURSE
<colby> SILLY ME
<colby> 'y' !
<terry> it's ON THE SCREEN
%

Ever since my appendix tried to kill me, I have harbored a certain
distrust of my internal organs. 
		-- Glen Pritchett
%

<Smartacus> people can't get to God through my ass.
%

<jason> you build a mirror archive of a terabyte.. you donate money to
        live saving.. but you visit just one strip joint and that's all
        they remember you for..
%

<iNoah> all you vi weenies who taunt emacs but program in java, ought to be
        aware that they were designed by the same person.
<iNoah> laugh while you can, monkeyboy.
%

<peter> My coworker just walked up to me and said: "What's orange and looks
        good on hippies?" "What?" "Fire."
<peter> I'm so offended, and giggling at the same time.
%

<fn> hmm.  do i want to ditch work and go home at 2pm?
<fn> that way i can catch b5 at 3.
<meta> look deep inside you, for that spark of ethics that keep you at work..
       and TURN OFF THAT SPARK
%

<toshok> it's no fun going to a titty movie with girls
<toshok> i'll be saying "wow, look at those breasts" and you'll be saying
         "oh, i don't like her fingerpolish"
<toshok> doesn't work
%

<etc[01:15]> !v
<etc[01:15]> *damn*
<fn[01:16]> "if you were in emacs, you'd be editing by now."
... later ...
<etc[01:56]> !v
<etc[01:56]> sigh.
<etc[01:56]> no mouse, problems.
... later ...
<etc[03:47]> !v
<fn[03:47]> "if you were in emacs, you wouldn't need a mouse."
%

you mothers are all alike.  first you kick us out into the air, then you
cut off the warm milk supply, and it's downhill from there 
		-- Charles Griffith

%

[H]ow do you explain a rainbow to a blind man?
		-- Frank A. Adrian <fadrian@ancar.org>

<lerp> kick him in the nuts.  "see all those pretty colors?  like that."
%

/m kebire sleep well?
<*kebire*> hrm.  alright, i guess.
<*kebire*> 1. not long enough
<*kebire*> 2. there was a fly buzzing somewhere in my room when i went to
           sleep, so i was nervous all night.
/m kebire fly?  nervous?
<*kebire*> yes.
<*kebire*> because one time a few months ago, i heard a fly buzzing.
<*kebire*> i rolled over and it stopped
<*kebire*> i woke up and there was a dead fly on my pillow.
<*kebire*> eew.
%

kebire (private): my wrist and finger hurt and it's 2am.
%

interviewer: The House recently passed the Human Cloning Ban of 2001.

ray bradbury: Why would you clone people when you can go to bed with them
and make a baby? C'mon, it's stupid. Stalin and Mao had a great idea about
cloning -- they killed 80 million people and what's left is your clones.
If you don't like the way the world is put together you just kill everybody.
What you got left is the master race. We have more important things to do
than these silly ideas. Let's clone people in kindergarten and teach them
how to teach reading and writing.
    -- http://www.salon.com/people/feature/2001/08/29/bradbury/print.html
%

<danh> check out the big brain on leek
%

<etc> i'm invisible. i'm invisible. i'm invisible. i'm
      invisible. everything. i'm invisible. an erasure
      of love. everything. i'm invisible. an erasure of
      love. everything. i'm invisible. an erasure of love.

<etc> an erasure of of love. an erasure of of love. an erasure
      of of love. an erasure of of love. an erasure of of love.

<etc> WEEEEBLUURRURPPDIDIIDIDIGIIGBLUUURPWEEEEPPDDDEEERGH

<etc> this music is what my grandmother would call 'washing machine music'

<etc> "IT SOUNDS LIKE MY WACHING MACHINE WHEN IT LAST BROKE
      DOWN? HOW CAN YOU LISTEN TO THAT?"
%

06:37 <ben> darren, don't let the bsdtards grind you down.
%

[ Depression ] Message 1329 (5 left): Fri April 13, 2001  12:00am
From:
Subject: the worst feeling in the world

passionate love fading into disappointment, anger, and distaste.
%

<s5> my friend and i would dial each other's modems directly, and chat over
     the wire instead of talking on the phone
<s5> though usually we would do this when our BBS was down
%

besides

geeks aren't lame


GEEKS R SUCK
		-- banshee
%

<axly[23:19]> eek! you're a player killer?
<axly[23:20]> cause.im.a.pk
%

<xep> i was riding down haight street today and another bike passed
<xep> me going the opposite direction and i thought "oooh cute girl
<xep> on cutebike!!" theni realized it was my sister
%

[ Campaign2000 ] Message 1339 (1 left): Mon Nov 27, 2000  9:49am
From: Cindy Dutra (lafolle@limbo.abattoir.com)
Subject: personally
12 lines (?) 

        I wouldn't try to feed my pet dog an all vegetarian diet.  He's
a meat eater, and I don't think it would be healthy for him.  Furthermore,
if I had a pet snake I would certainly feed it mice, because he'd turn his
nose up at a tofu substitute.

        And as soon as I've justified these premises as acceptable, it's
a small jump to the next one.

        I am my pet human.
%

<kebire> someone was telling me about their friend who was a vet who fed
         their dogs and cats vegan food.
<kebire> and that those animals were happy and healthy and stuff.
<fn> heh.
<fn> "how do you know they won't be happier with meat?"
<kebire> well, they'd probably be filled with guilt if they ate meat.
<kebire> and who needs a guilty cat?
%

<lenore> mmm, muni.
%

<tris> what's the mtbf for cats?
%

<self[23:41]> aww, gee, no one gets to osculate you.
<lenore[23:41]> nope.  osculation is the devil's work!
%

<ert> there's a revolution in the way i walk :>
%

*Pug[00:32]* i don't need anything cool
%

<self> well, but you've made the decision.
<lenore> yeah.
<self> this calls for a toast.
<self> <- raises his mouse.  to the brighter, happier future!
<self> *click*
<lenore> *click*
<lenore> *chugs spam*
%

<zorgo[23:23]> Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.
<zorgo[23:23]>                        - Joon, from the film 'Benny and Joon' 
<ScottM[23:23]> Very lame film.
<self[23:23]> but some cultures have no cheese.
<ScottM[23:23]> And are, as such, undefined.
%

<self> sun's front page: "initiative simplifies the dot-comming process." by
       cott mcnealy.
<self> scott
<ScottM> "faster!  faster!  I'm dot-comming!!!"
%

<poey[13:50]> mmm, sexy lisp parens.
<poey[13:50]> ((((swoon))))
%

<Numa[23:17]> e is just a bit too much.
%

*kebire[15:06]* but you taste better on fruit salad!
%

<wankel> guess i could make all of that runtime, actually.
<c2> yeah... just argv it
%

<fn> I've had a crush on you for the better part of three years. 
<kebire> i don't know how to deal with that information. 
%

Never substitute activity for action.
		-- Seneca
%

<fool[11:50]> If it's there and you can see it, it's REAL
<fool[11:50]> If it's there and you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT
<fool[11:50]> If it's not there and you can see it, it's VIRTUAL
<fool[11:50]> If it's not there and you can't see it, it's GONE!
%

Appearances to the mind are of four kinds.  Things either are what they appear
to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear
to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be.  Rightly to aim in all these
cases is the wise man's task.
		-- Epictetus
%

 Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true
 I'm half crazy over the love of you
 It won't be a stylish marriage
 I can't afford a carriage
 But you'll look sweet
 Upon the seat
 Of a bicycle built for two
%

<self> i don't want to be a misanthrope.
<Smartacus> neither do i, but one must face facts
%

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
		-- The Wizard of Oz
%

 A _Real_ Operating System for _Real_ Hackers.

 ____ __   _  ____ __ __ ___  ___   ___
 ___ /  | / /__  _/ /_  /   |/ __\ / _ |
 __ /   |/ // _\/_  _/ / ' / \_ \ / /  /
 _ / /|   // __/ / /_ / , | __/ // / ,/
  /_/ |__/_\__/__\__//___/__\__//___'

 With many thanks to the core team and UCB CSRG.
%

It is better to fill your days with life than your life with days.
%

<veevi[16:13]> Think. (IBM)
<veevi[16:13]> Think different (Apple)
<veevi[16:14]> Think coherently, using proper grammar. (veevi.)
%

<pinkboy[11:34]> Fontifying stealthily...
%

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
		-- http://www.batteryinflux.com/fact/maria.htm
%

<Karen[21:52]> I lost my virginity at home in my own bed.
<Eeyore[21:53]> Karen: did you check behind the headboard? maybe it fell
    back there.
%

.sig from a mailing list:

  Yeah, yo mama dresses
  you funny and you need
  a mouse to delete files
%

Have you ever gotten sick and tired of hearing AT&T take credit
for things they haven't invented yet?  You will.
                -- Dave Hamilton (jazzbo@onr.com)
%

"Free software...even if it kills us!"
                -- Ian Frechett
%

Message 14 on *haiku (#107908):
Date:     Thu Jul  1 13:44:04 1999 PDT
From:     Idle_Guest (#109830)
To:       *haiku (#107908)

DONT YOU PEOPLE HAVE
SOMETHING ELSE BETTER TO DO
THAN WRITE DUMB HAIKU
%

Change is inevitable.  Progress is not.
%

<noah[22:43]> Heh, remember signature viruses?
<noah[22:43]> My favorite one was "Hi, I'm a memetic signature virus.  Whether
              or not you copy me into your .sig, the virus has already spread."
%

<wmutei[14:47]> cats are the best thing outside of a ferret.  inside of a
                ferret, it's too dark to change the CD.
%

<ScottM[16:48]> A stroke of the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.
%

Grub first, then ethics.
		-- Bertolt Brecht
%

11:16 <gus> font is like braile only for your eyes.
%

*annie[22:55]* well, i'm pretty sure i'm pregnant again! isn't that exciting? 
%

<wisner[12:44]> I think there's something wrong with me.
%

<Smartacus> i have an attack cat but his method of attack is so subtle
<Smartacus> that it looks like he's just sleeping.
%

"Death is a nonmaskable interrupt." -- dmarcher
%

<gus> my head is ok.
%

Always there remain portions of our heart
into which no one is able to enter, invite them as we may.
%

<vuori> I've never cared for horror/splatter much
<vuori> Maybe because today we have irc
%

Why I miss Ben:

<fn> I got some papers in the mail yesterday from SF State talking about campus
     housing
<fn> One of the reasons they gave for living on campus is "Make New Friends"
<ben> "Try To Score" would give it away to the parents.
%

20:13 *rain* yeah...emacs is sexy
%

<lerp> hee! I just love B movie efx.  this one just used a painted surge
<lerp> supressor and a snakelight for some sort of detector.
%

<phone[01:00]> there is blame everywhere for everything.
<phone[01:01]> and in many cases there are excuses for everything too.
<phone[01:01]> volunteer projects are fun!
%

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, which suddenly flips
over, pinning you underneath.  At night the ice weasels come.
                -- Matt Groening, "Love is Hell"
%

<piglet3[14:34]> ich bin ein ``neon dwarf''.
%

<vuori> Needed to make /dev/zero world-writable for emacs to start
%

<danh> why do hubs make so much noise?
%

suppose we let a million users click at random in their browsers.  will
their cache server ever produce the complete works of William Shakespeare?
                -- erik naggum's .sig

but on the other hand, we got a pile of monkeys to pound a keyboard,
and linux came out!
                -- daniel hagerty, upon seeing erik's quote.
%

<luzer[13:26]> do you have a comfy chair? kick back and sleep... that's what
	i used to do at pac sim :)
<luzer[13:27]> heh. bmoore woke me up a couple times when i was snoozing at
	my desk.
<luzer[13:27]> so being a responsible manager, aware of my needs, he bought me
	a couch :)
<luzer[13:29]> "mcmunn-san.. how do you say.. you snore very loud! and drink
	very biggest american beer!"
<luzer[13:29]> those fujitsu guys sure were fun
%

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between 
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security. 
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts 
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is 
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight. 
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone 
to bring you flowers. 
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn... 
		-- Veronica Shoffstall, "Comes the Dawn" (1971)
%

<Eeyore[19:42]> would you program on NT without someone waving large amounts
    of cash at you?
<blink[19:43]> oh yeh, richard, as opposed to that pleasurable X programming
    on UNIX.
%

<ed> "When you are able to snatch the regular expression from /dev/mem before
  I flush it, then it will be time for you to leave, grasshopper."
%

<Leftist> Just go with the flow control, roll with the crunches, and,
<Leftist> when you get a prompt, type like hell.
%

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
		-- Steven Pearl
%

[time] Fri Nov 27 21:36:19 1998
[...]
<auntie[21:43]> hint: don't send mom pictures of yourself nekkid if you are
                older than 2
%

<hf> hugs, not bugs
%

     |\  /|                                                     _\\_
    / .  . \      Never attempt to teach a pig to dance.     __/.   \
   |        |     It wastes your time and annoys the pig.   @__      \__
  (   (@@)   )                                                 \
   \ ______ /
%

"What do you think society should do about AIDS?"
"It is preventable if you're careful. Last time I shot smack with a friend,
 we both wore condoms."
-- some random web page
%

<christian> i put together a model of schroedinger's box for my science
  project, but i failed because i wouldn't let them open it to look inside.
%

<piglet3> If I was at work, I'd press the monitor spasm button now
<piglet3> *bwwwuuuunnnnggngngngggg*
%

<dmarcher> i'm living in a 64-bit world, but only 7 bits work.
%

<piglet3> computers are not self-organizing; clays exhibit more of the
          characterisitcs of life than a computer does
<rmtodd> clay exhibits more of the characteristics of life than most irc users.
%

<banshee> You, Faried, are an anodyne to my unrequited love.
%

<watkins> Ok, whatever, hippie's can't spell either you know, and I'm a
<watkins> sysadmin/hippie, that means 4 out of 5 words will be spelled
<watkins> wrong.
%

There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
%

Blinding speed can compensate for a lot of deficiencies.
		-- David Nichols
%
<bpk> all you loser sysadmins think you can solve the worlds problems with ln,
  eh?
<Psychie> bpk - uh huh
<Psychie> bpk - the world is not as it seems
<Psychie> a millian shadows of reality
<bpk> if it's broken, just ln it!  when in doubt, ln it!
<bpk> well damnit, I refuse to conform to you and your lousy ln
%

If you want divine justice, die.
		-- Nick Seldon
%

<eval[11:32]> i had a genetic-background transplant
%

<poodge#emacs> hmm.  the authors of zenirc seem not to be to positive about IRC
%

<vlite44> hmm.  i wonder when i can look at "gnu.emacs.vm.bugs"
          newsgroup and not wonder about bugs in emacs' garbage collection..
%

                                 ,        ,
                                /(        )`
                                \ \___   / |
                                /- _  `-/  '
                               (/\/ \ \   /\
                               / /   | `    \
                               O O   ) /    |
                               `-^--'`<     '
                   TM         (_.)  _  )   /
|  | |\  | ~|~ \ /             `.___/`    /
|  | | \ |  |   X                `-----' /
`__| |  \| _|_ / \  <----.     __ / __   \
                    <----|====O)))==) \) /====
                    <----'    `--' `.__,' \
                                 |        |
                                  \       /
                             ______( (_  / \______
                           ,'  ,-----'   |        \
                           `--{__________)        \/
%

<piglet3> I've never not known less than that than you've never not forgotten,
          ian.
%

"Have you ever been in love?"
-You might say that.
"Horrible isn't it?"
-In what way?
"It makes you so vulnearble. It opens your chest and it opens your heart
and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up
these defenses. You build up this armor, for years, so nothing can hurt
you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They
don't ask for it. They do something like kiss you, or smile at you, and
then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets
inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so
a simple 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how perceptive' turns
into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not
just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a
body-hurt, a real gets-inside-of-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing
should be able to do that. Especially not Love."
-- from Sandman No. 65, written by Neil Gaiman
%

Mail 1 sheep to each of the addresses below, in 10 weeks you will have
50,000 sheep delivered to your front door.
		-- Larry Foard, on Usenet spam.
%

Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
%

<eval> libido vs brain.  libido wins again!
%

<Tex[11:26]> there is always an unhappy slice in any demographic.
<fn[11:26]> are you the happy slice of your demographic?
%

"I have watched insanity.  I have seen it happen.  I have studied it
 thoroughly.  It is my friend - my only company in the dark."

 - Sir John Edward Thompson (1404-1438, executed for the word of God).
   Some of his last words before being executed on October 4, 1438 after
   seven years in prison, of which the last two was in complete
   darkness.  When he died he had spent the last fifth of his life
   without ever seeing the light of day.
%

<Tex[15:52]> I don't talk to myself because I'm annoyed by idiots. 
%

<moof> the designers of X wouldn't know a GUI if one came up, screamed "I am
  a User Interface!" and bit them on the ass.
%

Love cannot be much younger than the lust for murder.
                -- Sigmund Freud
%

*Poe[19:01]* i just realized i'm feeling really unhappy.  and for once, i
             don't think it's because i'm hungry.
%

<nimrod[01:08]> sticky wet hot noisy and sweet
<nimrod[01:08]> thats sex
%

<Karen[13:31]> poor self.
%

Young people can be frustrating. Talking to them, you find yourself 
confronted with ideas and assumptions that experience caused you to discard 
long ago. But it's very easy to fall into the trap of finding young people 
shallow because their experience has been different, or narrower, than 
yours. As someone born toward the tail end of the baby boom, I find it easy 
to understand why boomers are so easy to hate -- again and again, among my 
contemporaries or those who are just slightly older, I see people who long 
ago severed their connections to popular culture, acting as if they don't 
need to be told anything about it. 
                -- Charles Taylor 
%

23:41 <ix> lambda calculus
23:41 <ix> BARF
%

                      |\      _,,,---,,_
                ZZZzz /,`.-'`'    -.  ;-;;,_
                      |,4-  ) )-,_. ,\ (  `'-'
                      '---''(_/--'  `-'\_)
%

<danh> shove this torus where the sun don't shine
%

Ripper: I can assure you that it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh...women
	sense my power and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women,
	Mandrake.
Mandrake: No.
Ripper: But I...I do deny them my essence.
		-- Dr Strangelove
%

[Emacs] is like a shepherd, making sure you don't get lost in some
unknown buffer.
		-- let [Tue Jan 19 23:58:40 1999]			
%

<Euep[20:59]> HOT CREAMY THRUSTING CAFFEINE INJECTION
%

<Jewl[17:59]> linux broke the computer!. :~(
%

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
%

<bpk2[12:49]> I want to go to Kosovo to fight along with the KLA
<bpk2[12:49]> I'll bring my copy of For Whom the Bell Tolls with me
<victor[12:50]> keep it in your breast pocket, b
%

*kebire[23:03]* anyway, person2 signs on, says "i just had GREAT sex!"
*kebire[23:03]* and then the guessing game ensues about who her "fuckbuddy" is.
*kebire[23:03]* people don't think it's person3.
*kebire[23:03]* so then she says it is.
*kebire[23:04]* and goes on and on about how great sex makes her have
                hope/faith in humanity.
/m kebire But of course!  She can have great sex and then have kids!
*kebire[23:05]* :)
/m kebire Well, ok, she can have bad sex and still have kids.
*kebire[23:05]* she could have no sex and still have a kid.
/m kebire Heh.
*kebire[23:05]* (starting now)
%

<gus[17:48]> once I heard a newsthing on mc hammer and they said
             "he has made hammer a household word!"
%

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion
on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general
education and culture.
		-- Julia Norton McCorkle
%

RAZORBACK:                      Paul Harbride, 1984, 2 hours 25 min.
        One of the great Australian films of the early 1980's, and
        arguably the best movie ever made about a large, man-eating
        hog.  Some violence.  With Gregory Harrison.
%

"The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Ninth Symphony."
                                                   -- Christa Ptatschek
%

<Eeyore[00:24]> sufferers of linux need all the support they can get.
%

"Smithers!  Massage my brain!"
		-- Montgomery Burns
%

<[onyx][21:32]> you MUST WRITE CODEEEEEE MUST WRITE CODEEEEEEEEEEE. CODE IS
                LIFE< LIFE IS CODE. THE CODE MUST FLOW.
%

<ben> bras should have like pull tabs on them.
%

<joshua666> yes C++ is code, of its kind.
<joshua666> personally I consider code to be a four letter word, but
<joshua666> I have my own perversions
%

I could never have netsex with a smoker.
                -- piglet3
%

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"Distribute this as thou wilt, HOWEVER if thou profit thereby, then
may thou be shunned by all, as a centre of pestilence."
                                                    - Nehemiah XII 53